You can’t imagine it, Jessie J says. At that moment gearing up for her comeback record in eight years, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the parent to a young child after struggling to conceive for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in March she was found to have cancer in her breast.
The musician, actual name J. Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The album, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an transparent story, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, pregnancy loss, failed relationships, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The lead track, the song No Secrets, was launched in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Later follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, was released in late spring and Cornish was talking to press about how she was thriving, while at the same time dealing with her cancer. Subsequently she shared the news, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I respond, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
We meet at a photography studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, beige footwear and big frames. Imagine biker chic meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the film. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. Jessie is sharp-witted, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is aiming for her first comedy performance in the coming year. “I like entertaining. When performing I frequently joke about the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was getting ready for an slot at the awards show when she found a lump. “I quickly sought to get it examined, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d contact on the Monday. By then Cornish had assured herself it was okay. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had many commitments.
“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after eight years without an album and four years without a single. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be good, and she goes, ‘You might want to sit.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have indicated aggressive cancer.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She found the surgery scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. They lead you. During crises you roll down in a bed, but then I just walked with a gown on and my rear exposed. It felt surreal.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “Cancer is awful, but yet I’m grateful it was caught soon. I had the mastectomy a few months back and my right breast now appears as a odd shape.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The next operation is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her boobs, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. How offensive! Amusingly I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be ideal. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Past Medical Issues
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She thinks her attitude toward illness has been so positive because she’s familiar with health crises. Frequently they align with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to be complacent. “Frankly, I feel fate says, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ From a young age, it has often paired with moments of success for me; a serious or unusual issue has happened to my health.”
She takes me back to her youth, already starting her career performing in the stage in a musical (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as lightheadedness and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and young Jessica has become part of the female band Soul Deep while attending the academy. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a car crash and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a long period.”
Hey, I say, wait, I can’t keep up. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
